Graduation Blues

by The Vanity Project

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Finally! The Vanity Project's debut EP, Graduation Blues. Expect laughs, expect tears. Expect earworms, expect fours-to-the-floor. Expect wry if naive meditations on the yawning chasm that is the future. Expect shit jokes.

Actually scratch all that: nothing here is expectable.

credits

released January 1, 2017

All songs written and performed by The Vanity Project. The Vanity Project are Flora Jackson and Rob Paterson.

Thanks to Colin Paterson for helping out with production and mixing (perhaps that's an understatement). Thanks to Anna Ward for artwork.

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Track Name: Graduation Blues
Idealism follows me around,
But it's only a matter of time before it drowns,
Cos my closest are turning,
They used to be yearning just like me.

My realism is about to choke
Every idealistic, juvenistic modicum of hope,
I'll stop buying their stories,
We all become tories in the end.

So what do you want to grow to be?
Son, you'll be lucky just to eat.
Choice is a right and all are free:
Rhetoric of the bourgeoisie,
Type another hundred words
And have another cup of tea.

My younger man is going to break my heart
But I can't tell where his song stops and where mine starts,
He's such beautiful ideas
As uninformed and naive as they are.

And I don't think he'd like me if we met,
Cos I'd join One Direction in a heartbeat if they'd let me,
he'd go bounce round the garden
and play the lead part in his own film.

So just keep me tranquilised with tea,
There's so much I've trained myself to need.
Boy alone can live on music, art and history,
Then I'll reach my mid 30s
And all I'll think about is money.

Idealism, you have done me wrong.
It's just a matter of time before I lose faith in this song,
But I'll just keep on playing
And hopelessly praying till I do.
Track Name: Body Bag Pt.1 (Oh! Unpretty Things!)
Fucking around in your body bag,
They turned my illness into a fad.
And your poetry wouldn't seem so bad,
If it was something I had found when I was feeling less sad.

But it's dangerous to go alone,
So keep me talking on the phone.

Fucking around just to pass the time,
I've no vocation but I won't go outside.
And you make it sound like I deserve to die,
But don't you think a longer punishment would best fit the crime?

But if you're waiting for me to make a noise,
Then you should know that I have lost my voice.

Fucking about in your body bag,
I'm not asleep but please treat me like I am,
And if I stir for a second or more,
It's just a blip cos I am never opening that door.

I've been jump-scared too many times before,
And if this is what it's meant to be,
Then I think I ordered the wrong thing.

And sometimes I think, this bitch don't like me,
And I'm struggling to figure out why.
Sometimes I think, this bitch don't like me,
And it makes me wanna fucking die.
Sometimes I think, this bitch don't like me,
But if I do something with my hair,
Then maybe I'd be a little less frightening,
And the people wouldn't stop or stare,
Not that I care, but I care.

But if only I could spell my name...
Track Name: Body Bag Pt. 2 (Ode to Sufjan Stevens)
I've already waited too long to cause such a commotion,
I feel it in my face and in my hands.
I've never sung this song with quite so much passion,
As if it would help me to understand.

And cherish me my dear,
While I am still breathing, I'm bleeding inside.
These feelings that I fear,
Bringing the razor to my breast, who knows best? Not I.

And everything happened so fast, like a supervolcano,
Immersed in you, I knew not what was real.
And you replied at last, but I was too busy
Surrounding myself with what I cannot feel.

And was there a choice,
From before I was nurtured in a culture of rot?
And was there a voice,
Crying "I don't know what's in me, oh mummy, I'm lost"?

When I am dead, will they bury my body
In something that they recognised as me?
My compass is flawed, and I am lost in the valley
With binoculars that limit what I see?
Oh Marie, what's happening to me?
Track Name: Good Guys & Bad Guys
When I was younger, I watched a lot of Disney films.
My dad would tell me who the good guys and the bad guys were.

He said the good guy's the one with the girl, he's often smiling,
And the bad guy's the one with the limp, he's also smiling.
It's a totally different smile, full of schadenfreude, envy and bile.
I ate my apple cut into quarters and the bad guy went hahahaha.

When I got older, I learnt a lot of history.
The teacher told me who the good guys and the bad guys were.

He said the good guy's the one with the gun, he wants his freedom,
And the bad guy's the one with the gun, he wants your freedom.
It's a totally different gun; one's for valour and virtue and one's for money.
I ate my apple whole and the capitalist went hahahaha.

Yesterday morning, I started reading newspapers.
The headlines told me who the good guys and the bad guys were.

They said the bad guy's the one on the right, he's really selfish,
And the bad guy's the one on the left, he's kinda racist,
And the bad guy's Gandhi, he slept with loads of women,
And the bad guy's Mother Teresa, she's a killer,
And the bad guy's Dickens, a raging anti-Semite,
And the bad guy's Roald Dahl, a raging anti-Semite,
And the bad guy's Disney, a raging anti-Semite,
And the-

We're all good guys, we're all bad guys, we're all good guys, we're all bad guys...
I ate my apple cut into quarters cos it made me feel better.

A little while later, someone texted me a funny thing, I read it and went hahahaha.
Track Name: Criminals
There's no need to be a reactionary,
The world is poisoned enough as it is.
When all the reviews read satisfactory,
Who cares if they're selling you shit?

And all the pretty girls, all the pretty girls are killing themselves.
And all the ugly girls, all the ugly girls are killing themselves.

And I bet that you were an anarchist,
At least when you were quoting Marx.
But bureaucracy got a hold on me,
And throttled my girlish heart.

And all the criminals, all the criminals reveal themselves,
And all the homophobes, all the homophobes stay in their homes.

So stand up and take my side,
And be the first to admit you know where I hide my supply,
But in the criminals' spirituals everything turns out fine.
I'll be the first to admit I'm a little bit terrified.
But in the criminals' spirituals everything turns out fine.

And swimming fish turned to sinking man,
But man wasn't good enough.
And it comforts me when you understand,
Cos I know that you're finding it tough.

But we're criminals, we're criminals to save our lives.
We're criminals, we're criminals but we survive.
And all the radicals, all the radicals can fuck themselves.
And all the gatekeepers, the hate preachers will gatekeep us.

So stand up and take my side,
And be the first to admit you know where I hide my supply,
But in the criminals' spirituals everything turns out fine.
I'll be the first to admit I'm a little bit terrified.
But in the criminals' spirituals everything turns out fine.

Despite the night, I clearly see,
A boy and girl, and you and me.
Too down to move, to proud to fall,
I hear your voice, that's all, that's all.

Despite the night, I clearly see,
A boy and girl, and you and me.
Too down to move, to proud to fall,
I hear your voice, that's all, that's all.

So stand up and take my side,
And be the first to admit you know where I hide my supply,
But in the criminals' spirituals everything turns out fine.
I'll be the first to admit I'm a little bit terrified.
But in the criminals' spirituals everything turns out fine.